On The Road To Recovery, Only To Relapse

After banging my good friend’s wife a couple of nights ago, I felt an urgency to go to church. I’m not religious and shit, but I didn’t feel good about tasting the unforbidden fruit—yes, I knew what I was doing, and I don’t regret it; I just feel kinda bad. That’s natural right? So how was church going to help me? I don’t know—but I needed a little repentance. My friend is a good guy and fully trusted me with his wife.

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I spent nearly half an hour in church and damn near fell asleep to the preacher’s monotonic translation of the holy book. I got up to exit the ceremony early, but as I strolled down the aisle, I noticed an undercover slut sitting with her family. I have a knack for analyzing women based on first impression and this “church girl” was no angel.

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As I took a look back, her eyes met mine and I motioned, through my eyes, for her to step away from her parents. She whispered something in her mom’s ear and then walked toward me as I led her out to my car. She aggressively motioned me to fuck her quickly so her parents wouldn’t take notice to how long she’s been gone. The blood rushed to my cock with excitement and in less than 10 minutes, we were both panting and relaxed. We never even exchanged names.

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I arrived home with a freshly rolled blunt waiting for me. After thinking about my accomplishments for the day, I came to a realization that I’m just a fucking squirrel trying to get a nut—nothing more, nothing less. Trashytoons.com reconfirmed that fact. If it thinks like an ass and fucks a broad in the ass, it probably is an ass.

Original post by webmaster

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