Grannies

So it’s that time of the year again when I turn to the darker nature of porn and pull out a bisexual title to review for you folks.  I never know if I’ll luck out and get two hot chicks and a guy all fucking each other, or if it’ll be another guy guy chick flick.  Well Lady Luck was out whoring it up with Mother Nature (that’s one hot milf!) last night so inevitably To Bi or Not To Bi fell into the latter category and so I settled in for three thrustful scenes of guy-guy-chick action, hoping to catch something to jack it to but not expecting too much.

To Bi or Not To Bi starts off with some totally twinkie looking guy hanging with some other older guy on a couch…how this bleached blonde twink didn’t know he was at least leaning to bisexuality is beyond me, he looks like the kind of guy who’d take loads in his ass and all over his face with pleasure.  We get the typical guy fucking or licking the hot slut taking two guys at once and then some bi-oral scenes and even some ass-fucking.  I’ll give it it’s due, there was a lot of action in To Bi or Not To Bi, so if this is how you get your thrills you’ll definitely enjoy the plentiful fuck scenes in this movie.  All in all it had some hot sex that did turn me on so To Bi or Not To Bi scores an adequate three cocks-up.

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Five or six weeks ago I did a movie review similar to Role Model…I forget what it was called; The probable reason I don’t remember the title is because it wasn’t a memorable movie and fell short of the expectations we have for higher quality porn.  Thankfully even though Role Model follows the same premise and does fall short in some ways, it is good enough that if you’re looking for decent hardcore sex to jack off to…or if you and the missus are looking for something to add a touch of spice by watching some hot porn then Role Model is certainly good enough for that.

First off I have to say kudos to the guys behind this movie on finding seven stunning sluttily sexy seductresses of this quality to star in one movie.  The whole ‘Big Brother’, ‘Real World’ reality porn tv feel was a little annoying but hey maybe that’s just me some people really dig those kind of shows or they wouldn’t keep making them and while I’m not a fan of those shows I do have to say that I think those shows could definitely be improved to the point I would watch them if they did like Role Model and had a couple hours worth of xxx hardcore house sex added to their script writing.  While as I said the chicks are stunningly hot and slutty, I think that they were short-sold on their sluttiness in that there should have been a house-orgy.  Like some big party where everyone goes nuts….oh well…regardless of numbers the sex itself is super hot as these chicks show how much they like being filmed and how much they love being filmed when fucking.  Three solid cocks-up for Role Model.

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I tell you man, I don’t think it’s ever going to be possible to get too much milf…the glint in their eyes when they’re lusting over some hunky piece of meat combined with their insatiable appetites for anything and everything sexual that they’re totally eager to share with pretty much anyone always manages to stir my cock into a rock-hard frenzy.  MILF 3 is a perfect example of what I mean with three super hot scenes featuring three sexy milfalicious babes with an almost incurable hunger for cock.

The guys in MILF 3 obviously appreciate milf just as much as I do; they rub oil all over ass, slam their cock deep into hungry throats and thoroughly enjoy the pleasure that there is in milf pussy. The first scene brings a horny blonde who can’t wait to jump on the first cock she sees after showing off her sexy lean body for we the lucky audience.  Black lacy lingerie is hastily removed as she gets deep into the action with her hard lovers.  In the second we’re treated to another threesome when some guy’s buddy shows up at the door to his hotel room when he’s about to get it on with his hot milf and so instead they fuck her together…now that’s true friendship man.  The third scene is pretty intense as we watch a country milf take her first anal fucking and double penetration.  As I expected, MILF 3 was super hot and made me cum hard so earns four fucking amazing cocks-up.

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Yawn….I knew this was going to happen and that my string of super hot porn viewing was going to come to an end.  At least it was a semi-boring end that made me drift off with dreams of hot chicks instead of some ugly chick movie that made me want to vomit and later give me nightmares of ugly chicks…boredom itself can be a blessing in disguise I guess.  Well as you can see Titty Fuckers 7 was not something that impressed me…wasn’t a turn off, just certainly wasn’t a turn-on either.  Perhaps by the time producers/directors hit number 7 in a series they just don’t bother trying to excel anymore.

Now even though boring in many ways Titty Fuckers 7 like I said does have babes which does count for a lot cos boring babes beat ugly sluts seven ways from Sunday any day of the week and we get a nice mix of hot brunettes and blondes both corn-flour and strawberry in all their svelte, sweetly curved, stewardess smiling, naked slutty glory.  This movie’s problems are in no way down to the actresses but blamable instead on some producers who just didn’t try.  Basically picture this movie like a delicious appetizer with hot babes getting big tits fucked and then put on something harder for the real deal is my advice and Titty Fuckers 7 gets 2 anticipatory cocks-up.

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To be honest the Asian genre of XXX movies has never really held much appeal to me…I can’t quite put my finger on it, but for some reason I just have a hard time getting into it…maybe it’s cos they’re so petite and often have no tits…maybe it’s from too many hours spent stuck behind the multitude of tourists who swarm like bees and totally drive me nuts when they point, wave their cameras at something and cut me off. Anyway…when I discovered Asian Assault 2 I wasn’t too thrilled at the idea of reviewing it, but I swallowed my distaste and tried to focus on the fact that once again I was getting paid to watch some xxx porn…so I really should just enjoy the ride.

I must admit I was surprised at the quality of the content in this movie.  The chicks are pretty damn hot as a matter of fact, and they’re also total horny sluts. (which as you know is a huge turn-on factor for this old horndawg) They devour cock with such intensity it’s incredibly hard to not find your own cock rising to the occasion, I know mine did.  Five fucktastic scenes make up Asian Assault 2 and each one of them offers its own merits…the first scene explodes with a full-on chick-chick-guy threesome and these slutty Asians show their good breeding by thoroughly servicing this guy making him shoot his load hard, and all poolside.  Later in the movie we get treated to another threesome scene, though this time we have to settle for just one hot Asian slut attacking two big cocks with intense passion.  Personally I preferred the first one, but then I usually prefer pretty tits and ass to hairy cock and balls…
Asian Assault 2 was a treat to be sure and I’m glad I swallowed my pre-judgement and gave this flick a try.  Three solid cocks-up and some smooth sake to wash it down with for Asian Assault 2.

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People often speak of teens today saying that all these teens want to do nowadays is get high.  Well the teens in The Hi Teen Club 9 aren’t doing any drugs but they sure as hell experience and share ecstasy with the lucky guys that get to experience their frosted slutty charms.  Usually I find an experienced milf to be hotter than any less experienced 18 year old porn actress but like with anything else in life that people do, a lot of enthusiasm can make up for only a little experience and when it comes to enthusiastic sex I have seen very few movies that hold a candle to The Hi Teen Club 9.

The hot Teen sluts in this movie are certainly motivated enough to be part of an upcumming generation that takes the world by storm….they at least certainly know how to get ahead and how to give a head with five scenes of intense slutty action pounding their way across the screen at you.  The sex is superb and you have to marvel at the natural cock skills that these babes have, If they stick with porn we are definitely looking at the next generation of porn superstars when we get to see movies like The Hi Teen Club 9.  This is one of the things I love about series porn (when it’s good), you end up with bonus jackoff material cos the next time you’re looking for something hot to watch you can say “huh…such and such number whatever was fucking hot…I should check out another of those ones.”  Four High Riding cocks-up for the club of The Hi Teen Club 9.

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P.O.V. Movies…stands for Point Of View; meaning that if you have a super imagination or if you’re riding the magic carpet ride on a quad of lsd, you can pretend that or view the movie as if you are the guy getting his cock sucked or slamming the chick in the scene.  Perhaps I don’t have enough imagination to properly appreciate this formula, or maybe it’s just that this style of movie-making is in it’s infancy and as tech improves and we one day end up with first-hand sensory movie watching this will be all the rave.  For the time being though I think POV falls short of it’s goals (through no fault of it’s own) but if it’s good enough to get us off then that’s really all that counts…and it is.

The big saving grace for Amazing POV Sluts 2 is that the chicks in it are sluts indeed who obviously love sex and crave cock which of course guarantees this movie as cum-worthy viewing time.  The hottest scene both literally and figuratively comes to you fast as the second chick in this movie gets down in some hot outdoor action with the sun highlighting some fantastic tits that sway and bounce away as she gets banged hard.  Really I guess all the scenes are hot, but to me there is just something missing with this style…maybe it wouldn’t feel as awkward watching it if they had two or three chicks per scene.  Overall though, not bad… Amazing POV Sluts 2 made me cum and gets three rock-steady cock-up.

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Ahhhh English sluts…It’s been too long since I’ve gotten to see one in all out action and if I’ve told you once I’ve told you all a zillion times…’If you want a full-on out there slut…go english’, they’re used to just laying back and thinking of the queen while the average lame limey pumps away till he cums and then goes to sleep…so when they get one of us planting the American Flag in their fertile English Valleys, they go nympho-nuts.  Happily many porn producers have discovered this and many more of our porn movies are having these positively scrumptious tarts served up to us for our porn pleasure.  Rock Hard 6 is one of these and another series where is this is indicative of the series itself then I betcha that numbers one through five and anything after this are well worth watching too.

There is not a lot of structure in Rock Hard 6 but hey who the hell cares when the structures that they do have are perfect blendings of big bouncy tits, and curvaceous thighs framing pink and perfect pussies and bordering lovely asses that you just want to dive right into.  These are pornbabes that have had enough slut action in their lives that they really enjoy the huge cocks that get fed into all of their holes and take great pleasure with cocks that many other porn performers would probably flee in terror from.  One cock, Two cocks, more….they have no problems with taking on all cummers with a cheery old the more the merrier attitude.  This is an awesome movie guaranteed to give you hours and hours of jackoff pleasure watching it over and over again and Rock Hard 6 gets full marks with five hard rocking cocks-up.

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Okay now with a name like Creampie Hunnies you KNOW that this is a series that is either going to totally rock with sizzling slut intensity, or fall flat on it’s face.  Fortunately for us and the movie makers Creampie Hunnies 3 does the former with style and pinache…ok maybe not style and pinache but it sure as hell is a movie I will guarantee you can shoot a load to each scene (maybe even more than one a scene if you’re younger than me).  I don’t remember if I’ve seen the others in this series but I know that after seeing this I’m definitely going to look one day cos there was not even one chick in Creampie Hunnies 3 that lacked for any element of hot porn.

A full length, five scene sexual extravaganza of all out sluttiness awaits you in Creampie Hunnies 3.  At first I thought, ‘uh-oh…creampie movie with only one on one sex…this isn’t going to be much of a creampie movie..’  But the one on one action is also intensely hot with cock craving slut action by a babe who obviously loves and needs cock more than she needs oxygen and was follows by some hawaiian babe doing a group of guys.  So while the one on one stuff may not be true creampie action it is definitely an awesome cream-tart and followed up by the real deal. The chicks in this flick dig taking it in any and all holes and you can see on their faces that they cum again when feeling that hot splooge shoot inside of them.  Creampie Hunnies 3 has everything in it that hot porn should have and gets a resounding and reshooting five cocks-up.

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Generally to my way of thinking, porn without sex is like a BLT without the bacon…bland and tasteless also leaving you far less than satisfied when finished.  Reach out Touch Me 2 shows me that I shouldn’t be so quick to judge all less than fully hardcore movies as all being the same and not worth watching because this one is definitely worth it and is filled with scenes hot enough to make you cum and cum hard to each and every one.  I do think that if these sluts could have mystery hands reaching out to cop a feel and do a bit of pussy plunging that they could have also had some PoV cock action happening too but the intensity was still sufficient to make these scenes stand out from the norm with a vitality of their own.

Why does  Reach out Touch Me 2 succeed in jack-off value and satisfaction when so many other solo-style movies fall short ?  The slut factor!  The babes in this movie (and they are all hot babes) have natural slutty natures that make you realize on every level that when these chicks are playing with and fingering their pussy talking about how much they want to be fucked….they mean every fucking word of it and when they cum (and each of them cum several times) you can see that they are fully going with what they feel and their cock craving is fully genuine.  It’s almost sadistic that the guys filming them only give them finger feels when obviously they want the real thing.  So It’s been proven to me that not all non-intercourse porn is lame and bland… Reach out Touch Me 2 gets four well satisfied cocks-up and one day I’m going to check out  Reach Out Touch Me 1 and see if it has the same kind of heat.

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